*alarm* *whistling* Now, I remember the good old days when I used to look forward to breakfast with things like eggs, sausages, bacon, omelets; now, now it’s just oatmeal. About four months ago, I decided to switch to a healthy breakfast. It was part of my incredible plan to gradually lose weight throughout the year so my breakfast routine has been comprised of oatmeal, black coffee and a banana. Only problem is, I still haven’t lost any weight; this breakfast routine has failed to bear any fruit. Well, apart from the banana. In hindsight it might be because, after preparing the healthy, nutritious oatmeal, I have to drench it with at least one liter of maple syrup to make it edible. Yeah, Canadian culture! Only reason I decided to do a vlog today of all days, is because I suspect today could be slightly above average day. I’ll get onto it in a minute, why that might be. Suffice to say, it might involve going to Tokyo and being on Japanese TV. *Might* be, because I don’t – even I don’t know to be honest. A day in my life vlog, until now – is – y’know, what day should you do a day in your life vlog? You never know what life might throw at you in any – in any given day. For example, yesterday when I woke up I never thought, by the end of the day I would have bought a brand new oven glove especially as one as flimsy and as tacky as this. But its true value lies here on the back of the oven glove with this powerful philosophical statement, which resonated with me on an emotional level. I’ll read it out, it says: This is me. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. And I read that and I thought, “Yes, that is me. That is how I define accomplishment.” Only thing that compromises that bold statement here is the question underneath, and it’s a question that reads: “What your favorit color?” What your favorit color? Uh, I don’t know who thought that was a necessary addition to the glove seems like a pretty poor follow-up question to an otherwise reasonable statement. You know, it’d be a bit like Sarah Connor in the Terminator turning to her son John and saying, “John, there is no fate, but what we make for ourselves. Oh, and by the way, what your favorit animal?!” It’s outside of having a shower, eating breakfast, and examining oven gloves; The only other habit I have, the only other morning routine I do is I write out one chapter from a Japanese textbook. In this case, the Intermediate Japanese Grammar Guide. I don’t have as much time as I used to when it comes to learning Japanese. This is the one thing I pretty much do now, every day. Like I really enjoy studying Japanese and even though my handwriting is atrocious, I really enjoy doing it. I know when I’ve done this, I’ve done one good thing today, you know. Even if the rest of the day goes to shit, I’ve done something that I could be happy about. Oh my god. Now that is what I call a Christmas tree. Yeah, look at those lights. Look at that. All ready to go for Christmas, all ready to go for December. So, about to pack the bags, go to Tokyo, and while I’m doing it I’ll fill you in on why we’re going in the first place. So every year in Japan they have a big annual awards thing for the 30 keywords of the year. 30 keywords that summarize the year’s annual events. I think last year the keywords were “Shinzo Abe” (the Prime Minister of Japan) maybe “Donald Trump”, and “fake news” but there’s 30 of them, and somebody who represents that keyword will come on stage and get the award in front of loads of cameras and stuff and it’s a really big, kind of event throughout Japan on the news, and this year one of the top ten keywords is “J-Alert”. Now J-Alert is the system which notifies you in an emergency. For example, like an earthquake or a tsunami, your phone will ring and go off and vibrate to kind of notify you about the emergency. And J-Alert also happens when there’s a North Korean missile. You probably know where this is going. They apparently – they saw my video where I got woken up by the North Korean missile by J-Alert, right, they saw that and thought I would be a good representative for the word J-Alert. So I’ve got go to Tokyo and accept this kind of award for the keyword in front loads of cameras and stuff and it’s really weird, and I don’t know much about it other than that, but I’m a little bit nervous. I don’t really know what to expect, it might be good, it might not be good, but we are gonna find out. Fortunately I’ve got help on the way. Ryotaro – my friend Ryotaro is gonna be joining me down there to kind of help me out. I told a good friend of mine about this award yesterday, and he said to me that it sounded like a “Sick award, mate!” Yeah, it’s “sick”, and I thought, why do people use the word “sick” in that context? It really annoys me. When did that become a popular word? If somebody says to me, “Yeah, that was sick mate!” I literally just picture a puddle of sick in my mind. I don’t want to, you know, I don’t want to, but it’s just there – a puddle, a puddle of sick and it’s horrible, so So we’ve got to ride the Shinkansen bullet train to Tokyo today, but I’m feeling a little bit anxious. There was an event last week that shook Japan to its core: A train – a train left the station 20 seconds early. They were supposed to leave the station at 9:44:40 but it left at 9:44:20. What happened next was a global media storm, and even though the train company apologized, the damage – the damage was done, so I’m keen to get there 20 seconds early today especially as we’ve got to do at least one swanky time-lapse of Sendai before we go, so let’s get a move on. Just did the time-lapse, it came out pretty well. I would say – I would go so far to say it was *sick*. But as I came out the building while I was doing it, I noticed there was loads of people standing around I peeked at someone’s phone, and they’re all playing Pokemon Go. I thought that died out ages ago. I didn’t realize that was still a thing. I know I never got into it. Thought it was a waste of time – time better spent doing time lapses, and actually there’s people here: They’re playing Pokemon Go as well. Didn’t even notice. Right then. Onwards to Tokyo. (machine) Ticket and coin. So, we’re on the train. Didn’t leave 20 seconds early this time. My little bento to see me through the trip: I think it’s chicken or pork or something. Should be there in 90 minutes. So I’m gonna get some work done and have some lunch. Looks alright, it’s not gonna win any prizes for looking too nice, though. Yeah, let’s tuck in. Second coffee of the day – much needed. Especially as we’re gonna be passing through Tokyo Station soon, the eighth busiest station in the world. I hate it. Whenever I go there I feel so overwhelmed and to go from like, Sendai, which is in the countryside, which is, you know, there’s not that many people here – to go from there to all of a sudden be flooded with hundreds and thousands of people standing around. It’s just kind of a really intense transition, and – so yeah, need to be prepared. That’s where coffee comes in. So now we’ve got to go to the Imperial Hotel and I don’t know where that is. Whilst Tokyo Station might be pretty chaotic, the area around it is actually really nice. It’s very relaxed, chilled out. In many ways, it feels very different from the rest of Tokyo. The streets are really, kind of huge, there’s trees, unbelievably, and lots of coffee shops. It’s just a nice place to just chill out and relax. If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed in Tokyo, this is the area: Tokyo Station. Just got an angry phone call from Ryotaro: “I’m in the lobby by the Christmas tree. Where are you?” We’re here at the Imperial Hotel though. Looks rather grand, it’s huge. All right, let’s go and find Mr. Grumpy. (Chris) Hey! (Ryotaro) What’re you doing? (Chris) Vlogging. (Ryotaro) Vlogging? (Chris) Gonna be a vlogger today. (Ryotaro) Yeah? (Chris) Say something profound, quick. (Ryotaro) Profound? (Chris) Yeah, quick. (Ryotaro) Today’s the day. (Chris) Today’s the day? (Ryotaro) Right. For us. (Chris) You got a haircut. (Ryotaro) Yeah, yeah, I got a haircut. (Chris) All right, let’s go. Have you been here before? (Ryotaro) Yes, I have. (Chris) Many times? (Ryotaro) Yeah, many times. (Chris) Of course you have. Luxurious, decadent man. So, we’re in the room. Ryotaro’s gonna come and meet us down here in a minute. Coffee’s on the way. It’s the most important thing whenever you get into a hotel room. Between you and me I don’t think I’d stay here. It seems a bit expensive for what it is. It’s more about the reputation, right, than actually being something that’s good. Still, we’ll find out. Oh, the coffee’s ready. (Ryotaro) Hey, brother. (Chris) What’d you just say? “Hey, brother”? From my room, actually I can look over the Imperial Palace (Chris) You bastard. (Ryotaro) Cup of coffee. (Chris) Here’s your coffee, your lordship. (Ryotaro) Thank you. (Chris) All right, they gave us the rundown on what’s happening. So, this – this award it’s like a TV show that they have every year. (Ryotaro) From, like tonight and, in every single news that you – that gets broadcasted in Japan will cover on that. (Chris) Bloody – (Ryotaro) Amazing. (Chris) Bit scary, isn’t it. (Ryotaro) It is, it is. (Chris) Will I be on the front cover of Time magazine? (Ryotaro) I’m not sure about that. (Chris) I’ve been let down by the media time and time again. About two months ago I was told I’d be on ITV News and I was, for like ten seconds, then there was the BBC live interview where my iPhone died and it’s just like, yeah, there never seems to be – Close, but no cigar. (Ryotaro) Yeah, see, like you don’t – you shouldn’t put, like too much expectation on that But, the fact is, they have chosen 30 words, and we are chosen within those first ten. (Chris) First ten? First ten? (Ryotaro) First ten. (Chris) Do you know where? (Ryotaro) Don’t know. (Chris) Could we be number one? (Ryotaro) Nah, nah, nah. J-Alert? Nah. (Chris) Can’t be number one. Although it could get political, with the whole North Korean thing. Maybe they want to be like, “Ah, war with North Korea! J-Alert! Whoa!” Shame we’re not first though. People say it’s taking part that counts, it’s not. It’s coming first. Everyone knows that. Taking part, load of rubbish. If you don’t win, you’re nothing. Write that down, put it on your wall. That’s the quote of the day. So, go up on stage, do I have to say anything? (Ryotaro) I don’t know – oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! Yes, they will. (Chris) What do I say? (high pitched voice) (laughs) They’ll be like, they’ll be like “Welp.” In that voice. Just scare everyone. I’ve got the Fuck Sake t-shirt, can I wear that on stage? (Ryotaro) I don’t know. I don’t know. (Chris) Something like that could be good. Free million dollar – Ryotaro, we have a situation My t-shirt, look how crinkled it is, wrinkled, wrinkled, crinkled. Can’t go on a TV show with like, a few million people watching it, with a t-shirt that looks like that. (Ryotaro) Yeah, that’s a Youtuber. So we dress like a Youtuber. It just tells what it is, you know? Tells the reality. How you live. (Chris) But I’m better than this. (Ryotaro) I didn’t know that. (Chris) I’ll show him. Hi, could I have the ironing board, please? Thank you very much. Aha, so I got the ironing board. The only problem is, I’ve only ironed clothes like, once in my life. I tend to just get them out the washing machine and then hang them up in a nice way and they didn’t get creased anyway, but how does this – what do we do? Shit. Genuinely no idea how this works. I don’t really know – oh, the light? No? I like to think I’m pretty good at technology: computers, tablets, phones, whatever Give me an iron though, and it’s game over. I haven’t a clue how to use this fuck- Look, there’s a light, but then – Do I – Then, and how do you put that in there? Doesn’t look right. See, this is the reason I don’t do day in my life vlogs, because stupid shit like this happens every day. I had to give a talk last week to some students in high school about careers and the life of a Youtuber, and lots of people ask me what it’s like, would I encourage other people to do it, and I don’t know if I would, really. When I started doing YouTube stuff, I didn’t anticipate all this, you know. You just, I started off in an apartment holding a camera and talking to myself, in fact pretty much like I’m doing now, but in a hotel room. And for me, the real kick I get out of doing YouTube isn’t the presenting bit. I’m not that good at that, and I don’t really enjoy it as much as you’d probably think. I like the writing, I like the editing. I like the overall creation aspect of being a vlogger and filmmaking. It’s just, I never had anyone who could present the videos for me. So I could kind of hide around to the back of the camera. So sometimes I find it more difficult than you’d think, to be enthusiastic about it all but generally, you know, I’m very grateful, very lucky for the opportunities that come about through doing this, and Yeah, I think tonight is gonna be quite fun and quite interesting. At the very least, it’s nice to be in Tokyo at the Imperial Hotel learning how to iron things. I failed, I completely failed. I’m gonna have to just cover myself with the black jumper and wing it. What an idiot. We go up in stage in half an hour. You ready? Yeah. You’re not? You look nervous. Way more nervous than usual. Oh god, I’ll have to wing it. I haven’t had enough coffee for this either. Pretty nervous. Why happens if you fall over on stage in front of all the cameras? (Ryotaro) Yeah, you do that. (Chris) We’ll do it. Try and trip you up. (in Japanese) J-Alert! (in Japanese) Yeah, it was, it’s pretty scary having that kind of attention. For example, I was on the television in the UK and many websites, and they treated me like a specialist on North Korea even though I was just a Youtuber who got woken up. My Mum thought it was very crazy, very crazy experience. That was crazy. We got the award, and then we had to sit on a table in front of about, there must have been about two to three hundred cameras there, from news sites all around Japan and I got there, this little award, which is kind of cool and funky and Yeah, pretty – pretty scary, but not too bad – not too bad and Don’t really know what to think. While we were having our photos taken, there was a huge banquet – a huge sprawling banquet the likes of which I’ve never seen. I was so excited to get stuck into it, but by the time we got there, all gone. All of it! (Ryotaro) No meat, no fish, not even the salad. (Chris) Yeah. So after all that, doing whatever that was, there’s no food, so (Ryotaro) Made us hungry. (Chris) We’re now going out into the streets of Tokyo to try and find something to eat. Whoa. (Chris, deep voice) Through the fires, but champion will rise. Oh, oh wait. I genuinely can’t see you through this steam. How many times do you eat out a week, do you reckon? Five times a week? (Ryotaro) How many times do you? Three or four? Not by choice – usually because I’m on the go My dinners aren’t quite as luxurious as this, usually. Still, it’s a special occasion, right? Ryotaro got a haircut! Yeah! So, finally got shot of Ryotaro, and I’ve got the award here, thought would have a closer look at what’s in the box? What’s in the box??! Always wanted to do that. All right, so this is the award that I got on stage And it says *gendai yougo no kiso chishiki*, which means “general basic terminology of modern language”. That’s what it means. The relevance, of course, is that the whole thing was about keywords, like modern-day keywords. And in my case the keyword was: J-Alert. J-Alert – there it is. There’s a little clock. Not sure what the relevance of the clock is, but the fact that it’s ten to 10:00 is an indication of why I look so tired and crap at the moment. The only thing that worries me is, when I was on stage I had this very dry mouth and I was kind of doing this weird thing where I was kind of going and I really hope they didn’t pick that up. I definitely would have done, but let’s have a look. Let’s inspect the damage. The Mission Impossible soundtrack. Oh my god. All right. Watch there. Aw, fuck, there it is. Look, aw. In hindsight, I probably could have done it in Japanese and I quite wanted to, but we needed an excuse to get Ryotaro on stage and so he came on as my “translator”, and Yeah, but fuck the mouth thing. What’s all that about? So the fun is officially over, and I’m about to do some editing for an hour before I go to bed, but first: Let’s raid the fridge and see what complimentary food and drinks there are. Ohh. I don’t normally do this, as it’s quite expensive, but seeing as I didn’t have to pay for the hotel, I feel like I can let myself off this once. Apple juice, yeah, and peach juice, yeah, and Chocolate. Job done. Yes. Merlot? No, no alcohol tonight. I already had my fun for one day. So it’s 11 past midnight, and finally tucked in bed. Don’t know why I ate those chocolates, it was a stupid idea, especially before bed. Don’t do that. I don’t think much will come from the award thing today, but you know what? I had a good day. It was quite fun. It’s always – it’s always nice to have an excuse to come to Tokyo, and I think it’s led to a slight surge in views to the North Korean missile video Here’s a comment from Aaron Chung who says, “Don’t say bad words like ‘fuck’, you lose subs that way!” Yeah, you’re probably right Aaron. Probably right, mate. But you know what? I don’t give a fuck anymore. Thing is, after getting a few hundred thousand subscribers, I’ve started to become really self-conscious about the way I act on video, because you think, well, lots of important people could be watching this. You. You could be an important person. So, you know, you do become self-conscious, but I’m trying to learn to let go of that feeling and not not give a shit anymore. Maybe in a way that’s why I did this day in the life video. To kind of go behind the scenes and show what I’m like when I’m not really thinking things through, and I’m literally just filming myself doing something on an average day or slightly above average day. But for now guys, as always guys, many thanks for watching, I’ll see you next time. That fucking iron is looking at me. I can feel it smirking, mocking me. It is pretty shocking that I don’t know how to iron after all these years. Probably gonna have to learn somehow, one day, someone will teach me, no doubt, the way of the ironing.