Browsing Tag: tvf

    Indians At ATM | The Timeliners
    Articles, Blog

    Indians At ATM | The Timeliners

    November 22, 2019


    Uncle, you withdraw first Come uncle Ladies first You come I’m standing right here Hello sir, hurry up Don’t make it late I’m going, going There is no cash left, I guess Hey! The metro card doesn’t work here It’s my bad How will one remember the password in such heat What? It means my @!$#$ Turn the AC to 16! Damn you! Just leave from here Leave! I’m leaving.. Open! Open [email protected]#$%&* It says PUSH idiot! Just buzz off! Leave! Bhaiyya! I don’t have cash, please take me to an ATM B.. Bhaisaab! Where is the atm? Very near 2 kilometres from here Let’s go! Do you have change? You wouldn’t require change, madam Isn’t this hole too small for a cheque? Uncle, that one is for debit card, you.. You can drop your cheque there Let me check the balance You only do it, son Give, I’ll help you See this.. Here you go Ummm, insert the pin uncle pin Pin? Yes Pin! Yes, yes, pin pin! Here’s the pin No no uncle not this pin, that pin with numbers.. Okay, number 99711.. No, no, no, uncle, the one you get from bank, the 4 digit one 1 2 3 4 So uncle, do you have savings account or current? Press savings, son We’ll get current from the other one We’ll get current, press saving Press saving I’m sayin, no? A lady has gone inside Chotu, get me one tea brother Guys, you also chill because she’s gonna take a lot of time If someone has to pee or poop, so go right now A women has gone inside She’s gonna empty the entire atm They have so any expenditures, bro First they have to shop Then they have to but their make-up Spending in vain costs a lot too Look at this.. She’s taken entire 2.5 minutes, 2.5 minutes! In 2.5 minutes, we can withdraw 250 rupees 2.5 times Now I’m going.. You guys watch.. Get aside, it’s my turn Listen Chotu, get me a tea, a guy has gone inside so he’s gonna take a lot of time If you guys have to chill so do that, get bridal waxing done He must be drunk and wants money for another drink Now he’s drunk so he will definitely play poker that means more money so he will take a lot of time surely Here he comes getting ridiculed They’ve got nothing to do. They get themselves insulted and then get us insulted We have to come go home early.

    Top 10 largest railway network in the world 2017. MUST WATCH!!!
    Articles, Blog

    Top 10 largest railway network in the world 2017. MUST WATCH!!!

    November 19, 2019


    USA has the first largest railway network in the world . The length of Railway network in USA is 250,000 China has the second largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in China is 100,000 km Russia has the third largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in Russia is 85,500 km. India has the fourth largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in India is 65,000 km. Canada has the fifth largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in Canada is 48,000 km. Germany has the sixth largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in Germany is 41,000 km. Australia has the seventh largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in Australia is 40,000 km. Argentina has the 8th largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in Argentina is 36,000 km. France has the ninth largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in France is 29,000 km. Brazil has the tenth largest railway network in the world. The length of railway network in Brazil is 28,000 km.

    TVF Bachelors | S02E01 – Bachelors vs Jobs
    Articles, Blog

    TVF Bachelors | S02E01 – Bachelors vs Jobs

    November 6, 2019


    It’s the final round of the 125th
    IT Musical Chair Competition. With the open space in the office filled
    with useless employees. The audience look happy about not
    working today. But it’s also a tense moment of people
    thinking their pay will get cut. Playing from our company,
    is everyone’s favorite, Mr. Jeetendra Kumar! Playing from our company,
    AYS Sales Corporation, is the the 124 times winner,
    the dangerous Ms. Victoria! Doesn’t matter!
    Doesn’t matter! ‘Cause we will be the winners. And remember that the winner gets… There’s nothing to think about there… -The first prize!
    -And maybe some french fries! The old lady taking slow steps ahead. And Jeetu, goes ahead and runs
    super fast. He’s left Victoria behind. He’s ahead!
    That’s such good performance! Oh man! He’s stuck behind Victoria again! Can someone explain to this fool
    that this isn’t a 100 mtr race, but it’s musical chairs. Stop the music!
    Stop the music! The old lady Victoria, has won! Bloody Jeetu has ruined an already
    dying company. Freakin’ idiot! What has this company not given you? A second-hand PC, a work
    from home option on Sundays. -A return ticket to the US.
    -Return ticket? Sir, I’ve never been to the US. Doesn’t matter!
    Doesn’t matter! What will I do with these second prizes?
    What will I do? You let us all down! Guys like you should be fired
    the second we get our funding. Bloody traitor!
    Out! Get out! I said out! I said out! Sir, the belt is mine. Doesn’t matter!
    Doesn’t matter! You’re fired!
    Out! If you’d put your ass on that chair,
    it wouldn’t have been kicked today. -Excuse me.
    -Your pants are going to come off, dude. Excuse me. Someone said that Victoria
    and you are friends on Facebook. No comments. Listen, did you intentionally
    lose this match or did the old woman play some
    senior citizen card on you? No comments. -Tell us your Victoria’s secrets.
    -No comments. When are you returning my hard disk? No comments. -Asshole!
    -What’d you say? -Speak up!
    -Asshole! Is he a traitor? Show him to me. Dad, it takes a little time
    to gain success… You useless guys can’t do a thing. You know, even the correspondence guys
    from their batch have got jobs. Their old roommate- BB. He’s gotten famous
    and is touring India. And what do these guys have? Neither do they have qualifying percents,
    nor a start-up idea. To top that off, he’s born so ugle. If they had good looks,
    they could’ve trapped a rich girl. They only have their virginity saved
    in the place of savings. Let it go, mister.
    They’re just kids. Son, have more roti(Indian flat bread). -Yes, mom.
    -First earn for it. Want more food after you do that! Mister, why don’t you say something,
    I mean, sing? What’s wrong, daddy? You nut, come back to Pakistan.
    – But, daddy… Hold on! Sir, madam, teacher. -I’ll get these three a job?
    -You? Didn’t your company kick you out? No, I mean…. -You’ll get these fools a job?
    – I need fool likes these. Just give me a month’s time. After that I’ll get them a job in the same
    company that kicked me out. And I’ll get them such a great package,
    where they’ll have to pay tax. Mister, say something, will you? See you guys, in the field, 5 am. 9 am. Okay, 2 pm it is. I want everyone on the field. I won’t waste time in telling
    y’all my name ’cause I’ve been living with you
    for the past 2 months. But remember this, you can get lucky
    with a chic but not with a job. But don’t worry,
    I’ll train you. So everyone will come ahead
    and introduce themselves. Come on, let’s start with you. -Shivshraddha Kapoor, Mechanical.
    -Again. -Are you deaf?
    -I’m not deaf, but, some water went into my ears
    in the shower, so again! -Shivshraddha Kapoor, Mechanical.
    -Out! Next! Jasmeet Singh Lahori, Metallurgy. Out, next! Badri Hooda, B.Tech Engineer. Badri Hooda, B.Tech Engineer. -Say it out loud.
    -Praise God! I’m not listening. Is there anyone else here from
    CS, Civil or Industrial design? Understand something well! I don’t hear or see the branches
    of male porn stars. I only hear one thing- Engineer. E-N-G-… Engineer. 10 minutes!
    You have 10 minutes. Make me some lemonade!
    Come on, everybody! I have a bad hangover!
    Come on! You, you, you! Go get some lemonade. Quick! Everybody!
    Quick! Open Word, write some lies
    and upload your resume. Type, type, type!
    Faster, faster, faster! Fast! Hey! You don’t have to lie
    about your name! Tell me, tell me something
    about yourself. Hello, sir. I’m Shivshraddha Kapoor.
    B.Tech Engineer. You fool! You have to mention
    you branch in an interview. Because Bola can hear and see
    the names of a branch. So tell me…
    Hey! Stop! Let me have one, man. Only a boss can eat biscuits
    at an interview. And the boss at this interview, is me! Aren’t your hands working?
    Faster! Fast! Fast! And press Ctrl+S, they file
    will automatically get saved. Uh, sir, the code is ready. If you keep doing this always,
    the company will kick you out in a month! Give your boss fake compliments. If someone say 1 thing,
    you say 2. If someone says 2, you say 4 and do it
    till the boss is impressed! Because you can’t survive without
    licking asses! Hey boy!
    Lick my ass! Sir, you’re wearing such a cool shirt! What an over coat!
    You look like Sherlock, sir. Sir, you should be the PM
    of the country not just boss here. Where do you see yourself
    after 5 years? In my early 30s, sir. If you answer like this, you’ll
    be jobless even in your late 30s! These are engineers
    from a private college? And they want a 9-5 job
    in a multinational! Your parents are right. No one can give you fools a job! What are you looking at? He’s just
    nervous, not dead. Take him away! Let’s start again! Com on, everybody! Did you see the result
    of pampering a frustrated engineer? He makes you brush your head
    even when you don’t have hair! He tells us to lick his ass
    to get his work done! Wake up at 2 am, shit fast, and
    if we make a mistake we don’t a cigarette. He smokes the entire box! There won’t be any practice here
    from tomorrow. Did you hear me?
    There won’t be any practice! It’s 3 in the evening. Why are y’all at your desk?
    What’s the problem? Where’s my coffee? And why aren’t you in formals? It’s not our age to work hard any more.
    Those days are in our past. The team doesn’t want
    to learn from you. Here’s the paper.
    We resign! We’ve signed it.
    You write the rest. ‘Cause we don’t know what to write
    in a resignation letter. But I’m sure you’d know. -Didn’t your company kick you…
    -I’ll thrash you! You assholes!
    Good job! Good job! You didn’t even get a job,
    but y’all learnt to resign. I thought I could get you jobs at Bola’s
    company and get my lunch box back. The one I left in my desk drawer. Okay, you’ve already made a decision. There won’t be any practice here
    from today. ‘Cause I’m sure y’all will get jobs. This baldy will be a B-grade villain
    in a C-grade movie, this fatso will be the before in a fitness
    ads’ ‘before and after’, and this guy will sell coke
    outside some coke studio. And as far as I’m concerned… As far as I’m concerned… I’ll be a credit card guy
    and worry that Bola. Resign? What’s new in what he’s saying?
    My dad says this every day! But one bachelor told another bachelor
    for the first time, dude. And a friend as well. Jeetu… Jeetu, please don’t leave. Jeetu, I’m sorry.
    I said too much. Yeah, Jeetu. The rent also will get expensive
    if we divide it by 3. You fools,
    I’m going to give the laundry. -And, we’re ready for our training.
    -Yeah! Okay! Wash these clothes. And yes, everyone, get into your formals. Everyone, come on! Fast! Quick!
    5 minutes! 5 minutes, everyone. So, you’re going to go with this beard
    to an interview? You have no idea how many like you
    go there to look for a job. They won’t even remember your face. If you want this job,
    make another identity. I just made my aadhar card
    and got it linked every where, man. Now? I meant, break the beard. Get your own look.
    Come on, you’ll look good. -Why isn’t this project report ready?
    -Sir, I’ve mailed it to Jizzy. Sir, I made my changes
    and forwarded it to Shiv. Sir, I… Shiv, blame and pass.
    Blame and pass. Blame and pass. You have to do this. You’ve to do it
    to excel in a corporate. If you don’t understand anything,
    blame your boss. Come on, blame me. Don’t wait!
    Blame me, come on! Yes, sir. Sir, I mailed it to you
    but you didn’t revert back! Very good!
    Good job, everyone! Come on, Badri. Don’t pick up
    the biscuit till the end of the interview. 20 seconds more.
    Come on! It’s happening! Did you get everything?
    Do you remember the name? 60 minutes. An IT interview lasts for 60 minutes. This is probably the most special
    60 minutes of your life. From the epiglottis. After the interview, you may want
    to have a raspberry cheesecake or sugar you may want to listen to Jagit Singh
    or Milka Singh when sad, I won’t tell you. But you will tell me what to do
    after clearing the interview. ‘Cause I know that in these
    60 minutes if you speak some sort of good grammar
    and get through this interview, then not just Bola but even God
    can’t take this job away from you. I want to say something. Get some eggs from the store
    on your way back. We’ll have eggs when you’re back. So every one, come on.
    Come on. Give me 10 bucks each. -I want to buy some coconuts.
    -Shut up! We’re already so late
    ’cause of your speech. And no rickshaw guy will take Badri
    and us together at this time. So, we… Jizzy and me wanted your bike. -Yeah…
    -Okay. Let’s take the bike!
    Come on, everybody! Come on! I’ll ride it. -You rode it the last time.
    -No, let me ride it. -Jeetu, I’ll ride it.
    -Hold on, hold on. You both take a rick.
    Badri, get on the bike. -Jeetu, this stopped.
    -It didn’t. The i3S technology turns the bike off if it’s on for more
    than 5 seconds, fuel savings. And if this happens at a red light, you just press the clutch
    and the bike starts. Come on, Badri! And all the best to you two. See you on the field.
    Come on, Badri. Rickshaw! What happened?
    Why are y’all sad? Don’t tell me you forgot the eggs. I’ve chopped up everything! We got a job! We got a job!
    We got a job! Get us some dessert. Don’t tell me you picked up
    a biscuit again! You trained me with Parle-G,
    but he kept choco cookies there. What could I do?
    Would you be able to do it? He’s called me for 2nd round of interview. On Skype, without cookies. But be careful,
    even the internet has cookies. We’ll see tomorrow. Sir, I think I’ll be a valuable company… to this ambitious company,
    which goes along with my ambition too. So basically ambition, ambitious,
    valuable company. So yeah! Good, I’m impressed. Now… I have one last question. He’ll ask about his hobbies now.
    No! Probably, sex-life.
    Hobbies, sex-life… Hobbies, sex-life…
    But this is the last question. Oh God!
    He’s going to ask his salary expectation. Are you happy with a 7 lakh package? Fatty, look towards me. He’ll increase the package,
    wait. Wait… No, sir.
    5 lakhs! You’re hired! You’re hired!
    Done! Done! Done! You’re hired! It will be a pleasure working
    with you, sir. Thank you! I got a job!
    I got a job! Bro, you try it. It’s not a pickle jar, you fool! It’s not going to come off.
    They’ve used a permanent marker. We can use kerosene once and try. Bro, this is Jeetu’s lunch box. We even have to steal 3 cups. -You remember, right?
    -Yeah, our set will be complete. We can just put a poster over it. Jeetu, I even got your lunch box
    from your drawer. When are you going to punish yourself
    till, man? It’s time to move on. Get a new look
    and look for a job. Come on!
    Let’s break the beard. Yeah, let’s break the beard.

    TVF Bachelors | S02E04 – Bahubully : The Beginning
    Articles, Blog

    TVF Bachelors | S02E04 – Bahubully : The Beginning

    November 4, 2019


    -Bros, the door’s shut, right?
    -Yeah! -The windows?
    -Yes! -The speakers?
    -Yeah! -The zipper on your pants?
    -We’re wearing boxers! Oh… -Shall I hit play?
    -Hold on, hold on… Go ahead now. What happened? -Did the laptop crash?
    -Shit, man! I told y’all not to play porn,
    we’ve a virus now! A virus? HIV? Are you a fool, pandit? Are there any other laptops around? The seniors may have… Let’s not go, man.
    Let’s get out of here. This corridor has the 4th year guys. I’ve heard that they make freshers pee
    on a spoon and pass electricity through it. Are you a chicken, man? I’m not scared.
    I’m just thinking about my kids. What are you doing?
    You’ll get us killed! Come on, let’s go. The seniors will rip our clothes.
    Come on, bro. -Don’t do it, man! Let’s go.
    -Get away! Utha ke CPU chalam jo porn ki hai lat garam we love you Tori Black’amam Sunny Sunny Leo’namam Hey, that’s my CPU. Hey, Pandit! Put your holy thread
    back on your ear. Now you can watch porn all night! What about a monitor? They just babble in the prospectus! Who’s going to write about porn
    being banned in the hostel? I’ll be back in 27 seconds. Look! I understand that it could
    be difficult to live without porn. But Dilip and Tahil
    are in charge of this. We should trust them. They’ll come with a great
    HD porn. We don’t have to be afraid. Sardar! They caught Dilip and Tahir with porn
    at the gate itself. They are no more… ..allowed in campus. We’re having trouble getting porn
    from outside, right? So what?! The water has risen above
    our heads now. Before we get suspended. It’s time to release ‘Babesena’. Babesena? Yeah, Babesena! It’s said that it has everything from
    softcore to hentai, from naughty America
    to ‘Savitha Bhabi’; filled with a million girls,
    it’s filled an army of billion babes! Yes, Badri,
    it even has Shemale porn. But even till today,
    Babesena is in that HOD Dahi Balla’s cabin chained up like the girls and guys
    in BDSM. I agree we’re single, with no scope
    of sex and a very bad imagination! But these hands are not made
    to tremble, but to shake! We’re going to free Babesena tonight
    from the HOD Dahi Balla’s cabin! However, know that whoever goes
    and caught, can be thrown out of the college
    by the HOD Dahi Balla. So tell me… Which brave girl or guy
    will carry out this task? Cowards!
    Tell me? Who will carry out this task? I will go to free Babesena
    from Bhalla! Let them in. Sir…
    Sir… Ask me. Sir, when Benzene hexafluoride reacts with
    tri-hydro-chlorine and chloro-fluoro-methane
    at 823 degree celsius, then what is the enthalpy
    of the reaction? -123 Kilo-Joules. Next? Ask him! Ask him more questions! Our HOD will solve everything! Sir, what pressure is required
    for an adiabatic isentropic process PV raised to the power gamma minus 1, where gibbs free energy is as a function
    of temperature to the kelvin scale? 1.5 Pascal. You rascal!
    Next? Ask him more!
    Ask him more! He’s our HOD! Sir, during the Mughal dynasty,
    when Babar was in power, what were the Rajputs doing,
    in their recreational time? This is a question from the Arts field,
    you don’t have to solve it. What’s that? He’s asking a question from
    the Arts field in an engineering college? Make him a prisoner! Shit! This is betrayal! Dad said it was an Arts college
    and sent me to an engineering college?! Betrayal! You’re doing your Phd for the past
    8 years under me and getting by. Even the students call you Kaatapa instead
    of Shivapa now. You obviously hate me a lot! What I think of dew drops outside my door
    every morning, must definitely be your urine. How then do you still help me? How Kaatapa? Anyway, tell me what you want. Shall I get your research paper published? Or should I cancel your dance
    at the fresher party? No, sir.
    I’ll take care of that. I’ve even practised for it. You just release Babesena for all
    those innocent students. They need this. And so do I. Babesena’s freedom? Here’s the laptop, format Babesena. What else could mean freedom
    for a hard disk other than this? No, no, sir. I can’t do this!
    I can’t do this! You won’t do it? Then let those students suffer… Let them suffer till they suffer! Bahubully, where have you gone?
    Come back… ?? Come on in. Come in slowly. It’s dark, so come in slowly
    and be careful. Don’t be afraid,
    hold onto each other’s hands. Stick together.
    Don’t be afraid, I’m here. -The weather’s bad, don’t be afraid.
    -Let’s get Babesena and get out of here! Guys… Fuck! ?? Hey, where’s the key to this? The power somehow manages to go off
    at such intense moments, listen to me, someone is going to
    come up from behind and say… Hey!
    Who’s there? Bahubully! I’ve the same loafers. I’ve been waiting for your return
    for ages, Bahubully. I’m Jeetu. -What?
    -Yes. And who’s this Bahubali? By the sound of his name… He sounds like a 6 feet green eyes
    metro-hetro-sepio-handsome senior! He’s not a 6 feet green eyes
    metro-hetro-sepio-handsome senior! But it was our respected HOD
    who looked average like him. Jintendra Bahubully came to this college
    about 5 years back. What an entry it was! Whose Hero Glamour is this?
    This is our parking! Sir, there’s a new professor in college. Sir, he took your place. Hey, park this. I’ll take care of him. Get that out of the way! It was our Dean Chewgammi who
    introduced him to Dahi Bhalaa. Professor Bhalla, he will be your
    new assistant professor from today. The parking below is alloted
    to professors. Not to their assistants. Park your Hero Glamour elsewhere
    from tomorrow. Did you get it?
    It’s our parking! Am I right, Bhalla? Those were the days when students would
    be troubled by Bhalla’s torture! Sir, can I please sit behind? No back-benchers are allowed
    in my class! You have to sit in the front
    if you want to study! Sir, but technically, if everyone sits
    on the first bench, it automatically becomes
    the last bench too. How dare you all sit on the last bench
    in my class?! Get out!
    Everybody, get out! One fine day, Dahi Bhalla was
    on his way somewhere. He was eating street food. Which resulted in him taking
    a sick leave. The next day, Dean Chewgammi, sent Jintendra Bahubully to
    his class. His teaching methods won the hearts
    of all the students in just a day. What a lecture it was. When professor Dahi Bhallar
    returned the next day. The students rebelled. And asked to be taught
    only by professor Jintendra Bahubully, Because every student began to a be a fan
    of professor Jintendra Bahubully. What a man he was! After a couple of days… Even our HOD went to the same place
    and ate street food. And he was dead. And the HOD’s chair
    remained empty. How should our HOD be? He should be like Jitendra Bahubully! How should our HOD be? He should be like Jitendra Bahubully! How should our HOD be? Okay, it’s been decided then/ After 10 days, different companies
    are coming to the campus for placements. Divide all the students from the 4th year
    equally among both the professors, Shukla. Whichever group has the most placements, will be the new HOD. He’ll also throw the Saturday night party. -This is my order.
    -But, Dean, the HOD position is mine! My order is now louder! This is wrong professor. All the 10 pointers
    have been given to Dahi Bhalla. All the students you’ve got are idiots
    like me. Who just get happy writing
    80085 on a calculator. -What do you mean?
    -Boobs, sir. Professor, if you say so, I can get
    fake certificates of all the students. No, Kaatapa! That’s wrong.
    You focus on your Phd. No one can stop you from being the HOD,
    professor Bhalla. I can take a class now, right? I’ve not failed anyone for days
    with these tiny hands of mine. This is not you,
    but your fantasy talking, Brinjal Dev. Where are you taking that?
    It’s seized! Jitendra has asked for it.
    To play. Games during placement time? A week later, different companies
    came to the campus for placement. Where Professor Bhalla’s students
    kept getting a job. Wait! Look at those geeks?
    How are you different than they are? Kumar Verma, life gives a student
    just one chance to make his own identity. Today is your day. Break the beard! However, Professor Bahubully’s students
    didn’t even understand the questions. An AC has 2 types of generator. One of it is an AC… Now tell me, what’s the difference
    between the two? You don’t even know this? What do you know? Sir, Professor Jitendra got his students
    leadership certificates through sports. I hope the companies don’t hire
    them thinking they’re team players! Only students with good grades
    get the job! Not students who just play a sport. That’s the rule of placements. Right, Bhalla? I got a job! I got a job! Dean, do you see that? 18 students from Professor Bhalla’s side
    have got a job. But Professor Jitendra could get a job
    for just one of his students. Now our HOD will be Professor Bhalla! Right, Dean? Professor Bhalla made the college proud
    by getting 18 students placed. His picture will be put up
    in the Hall of Fame. And a new chair in his cabin. But your new HOD will be
    Professor Jitendra. Hey, Chewgammi! Dean, according to the deal
    Professor Bhalla should be the HOD. Isn’t it? The one who gets 10 pointers
    a job during campus placements, is a good professor. But someone who gets
    a dumb guy a job, is a true HOD. But, Dean! My order is extra louder now! Till date, useless students like us
    have been bullied by professors like this. But now there is someone
    who can bully these professors. Which is why now, you’re not just our
    professor but you’re the bully of bullies, -Jitendra Bahubully!
    -Bahubully Bahubully!
    Bahubully! Bahubully!
    Bahubully! -Jitendra Bahubully!
    -Bahubully Bahubully!
    Bahubully! -Jitendra Bahubully!
    -Bahubully Bahubully!
    Bahubully! Which department has a professor
    like this now, Kaatapa? Can we meet him? He’s no more.
    He’s no longer in this college. Why? He must’ve gone the same way and eaten
    street food, something must’ve happened. -Right?
    -No. He was thrown out of this college. Why? Why?
    Why Kaatapa? Looking at how
    you’re building the suspense, I think it’s you who got him thrown out. Yes, yes yes! The cheap-low life- betraying-Phd, is me…