Key & Peele – Das Negros
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Key & Peele – Das Negros

August 9, 2019


[doorbell rings] – [German accent]
HEIL
HITLER. MY NAME IS COLONEL
HANS MULLER OF THE S.S. AS YOU KNOW, WE WERE
COMBING THE AREA FOR JEWS. BUT IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION
THAT TWO NEGROES HAVE ESCAPED, AND ARE HIDING OUT
IN THIS AREA AS WELL. YOU WOULDN’T HAPPEN TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS,
NOW, WOULD YOU? – UH, NO.
NO NEGROES HERE. MM-MM. – UH, NEGROES? EW.
[chuckles] HELL NO. – AND, UM,
WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES? – LEROY… HEIMER. LEROYHEIMER
IS MY LAST NAME, AND MY FIRST NAME
IS VERY GERMAN, AND THAT IS BECAUSE
IT IS HEINRICH. SO, MY NAME
IS HEINRICH LEROYHEIMER. – AND I AM BARON HELMUT… SCHNITZELNAZI. – WELL. ARE YOU GOING TO
INVITE ME IN? – OF COURSE!
– YEAH, COME ON IN! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
ABSOLUTELY. – PLEASE, GENTLEMEN,
SIT DOWN. NOW… AS YOU KNOW, THE NEGRO,
NOT UNLIKE THE JEW, CAN BE A VERY
TRICKY CREATURE. OH, THAT’S FUN. WE HAVE DEVELOPED
MANY TESTS TO DETERMINE IF AN INDIVIDUAL
IS, IN FACT, AN ACTUAL NEGRO. IT’S VERY SCIENTIFIC. LIKE WHEN WE THROW THE BEANS
UP AGAINST THE HOMOSEXUALS TO SEE IF
THE BEANS EXPLODE. – YEAH, UH… WHAT KIND OF TESTS? – IT’S INTERESTING
THAT YOU WOULD ASK ME THAT. WOULD YOU MIND IF I… REMOVED YOUR HAT? SO THAT I CAN
MEASURE YOUR HEAD. THE NEGRO HEAD,
INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, ONLY COMES
IN THE HALF SIZES. IT’S ONE OF THE MANY INTERESTING
THINGS ABOUT THE NEGRO HEAD. HMM. EVERYTHING
SEEMS IN ORDER. both: [exhale] – WELL,
NO NEGRO HEADS HERE. – I’LL TELL YOU WHAT,
THOUGH. IF A NEGRO HEAD
CAME IN HERE, IT WOULD FIND ITSELF
DETACHED FROM ITS NEGRO BODY. I’LL TELL YOU THAT,
RIGHT HERE. [chuckles]
AM I RIGHT? – THIS IS VERY,
VERY GOOD. BUT THERE ARE SO MANY
EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE, WHICH IS WHY
IT’S SO IMPORTANT THAT WE HAVE A TEST
WHICH IS FOOL-PROOF. – UH, M-M-M-MORE TESTS? – YOU KNOW,
HUNTING THE NEGROES ALL DAY, YOU REALLY BUILD UP AN APPETITE,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? CAN I INTEREST YOU TWO IN SOME DELICIOUS BEETS? INTERESTING. THE NEGRO
CANNOT RESIST THE BEET. IT IS DRAWN TO IT
LIKE FLIES TOSCHEISSE.WELL, GENTLEMEN. IT APPEARS I HAVE
WASTED YOUR TIME. I’LL BE ON MY WAY. – [exhales] – JUST ONE MORE THING. I’M CURIOUS AS TO
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT… THIS CAT TOY! JIGGLEDY, JIGGLEDY! NOTHING? WELL, THAT’S EMBARRASSING. I’M SORRY
FOR BOTHERING YOU. YOU TWO ARE OBVIOUSLY
NOT NEGROES. both: [laugh] – OF COURSE
WE’RE NOT NEGROES. – THIS IS A NO-NEGRO ZONE. – THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN. – AIN’T NO THANG. – HERR LEROYHEIMER. OH, THAT’S NEW. BARON SCHNITZELNAZI. – WHAT’S GOIN’ ON?
OH,HEILHITLER. – I’LL WAIT FOR YOU HERE.
THERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT. BY THE WAY…
[clears throat] ARE YOU, BY CHANCE, RELATED TO THE DUSSELDORF
SCHNITZELNAZIS? – YES, I AM. – HOW’S YOUR AUNT FRIDA? – AUNT FRIDA? SHE… IS STILL… FAT? – I DON’T RECALL
HER BEING FAT. BUT WHO LOOKS LIKE THEY DID
IN COLLEGE ANYWAY, AM I RIGHT? – NOT ME. NOT ME. NOT ME.
– NOT THIS ONE, EITHER. – ‘CAUSE I WAS A–
YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT? – WELL,GUTEN TAG.
– [laughs] ALL RIGHT. – OH, GUTENBERG! [engine starts] [car drives away] – WHEW.
MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE. WHOO. WE GOTTA
GET OUTTA HERE, MAN. WE– – HE LEFT THE CAT TOY, MAN!
– UH-UH. – HE LEFT IT!
– UH-UH. – [laughs] OH! OH! [giggles]

100 Comments

  • Reply Comedy Central January 11, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  • Reply Manuel Barro July 31, 2019 at 12:42 am

    "Negros, ew hahaha… hell naw" hahahahahahahahaha

  • Reply Dominic Ratsakhy July 31, 2019 at 12:49 am

    The nazi looks likemr bean lol

  • Reply Nokes10 July 31, 2019 at 3:50 am

    Schnitzelnazi lmao

  • Reply p loc July 31, 2019 at 4:09 am

    Can someone explain the cat toy, never got that joke

  • Reply MoiQ July 31, 2019 at 4:50 am

    Maybe I'm a weirdo but this video made me feel sad

  • Reply Ben Jay July 31, 2019 at 5:16 am

    Hard to find real comedy without a laugh track nowadays

  • Reply Quratulain Shah July 31, 2019 at 6:13 am

    Jiggly jiggly had me

  • Reply Derrick Lopez July 31, 2019 at 6:44 am

    I have the same hair style

  • Reply Abdul Msekeni July 31, 2019 at 10:01 am

    My question is how did they catch him 🤣

  • Reply ryvr madduck July 31, 2019 at 11:41 am

    White face?

  • Reply FaZe Daddy July 31, 2019 at 12:27 pm

    Any chance he’s Phil dunphy from the modern family

  • Reply chris fux July 31, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    DDR koppelschloss

  • Reply insert channel name July 31, 2019 at 5:15 pm

    phil dunphy?

  • Reply Sepia1989 July 31, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    Plot twist: Hans Muller is not stupid. He's actually a good guy who joined the SS to secretly help the Jews and Blacks. In "Hitler's story" he saved the American soldier's life and killed his fellow Nazi.

  • Reply C. 8 Serial T. July 31, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    The words Nazi and racist gets thrown around casually these days like it has no meaning. Now theres Nazi jokes on comedy central? No wonder libs act so immature and call trump a nazi. Nazis and genocide are a funny joke to liberals. Hard to take them seriously when they act like immature and uneducated children

  • Reply Ezra Williams July 31, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    “Leroy” 😂😂😂

  • Reply Ezra Williams July 31, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    3:30 look at keagan face tho

  • Reply GRACIN Oconnor August 1, 2019 at 1:54 am

    Phil what are you doing here where is Clare

  • Reply Caleb Snyder August 1, 2019 at 4:24 am

    The Nazi solider really reminds me of Christoph Waltz’s role in inglorious basterds

  • Reply Hey! Watch This! August 1, 2019 at 7:21 am

    Is that Phil Dunphy the Nazi Agent?

  • Reply miles harrison August 1, 2019 at 7:35 am

    Love the Zemo references in the beginning 🔥🙌🏾

  • Reply WulfGalactus777 August 1, 2019 at 8:12 am

    He should have brought KFC!

  • Reply ROBOSHARK_ 77 August 1, 2019 at 11:56 am

    Fill

  • Reply JeeN s August 1, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    "Negro!! Hell no”hqhahaha

  • Reply Dan Webster August 1, 2019 at 1:34 pm

    Now, had he actually dropped the beet… they would have been busted.

  • Reply `Grimmzy August 1, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    Forgot that actors name, but he played a damn good Nazi. This skit is gold. Lmao

  • Reply Matt Foley August 1, 2019 at 6:06 pm

    Hey Negro

  • Reply BlueCorp August 1, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    This is all funny but if the roles were reversed with white men painting their face black it would be racist.

  • Reply Templar 354 August 1, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    So if the SS was right about the negros not being able to resist cat toys does that mean beans do explode when thrown at the Homosexuals?

  • Reply sol walker August 1, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    It is true that negros are drawn to beets

  • Reply Aidan Burley August 2, 2019 at 9:18 am

    In high school a kid got kicked out for running around the halls hailing hitler, I think the Germans son was that kid.

  • Reply Uno Dos August 2, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    Ty Burrell looks really Jewish to me, actually, I wonder if he's got Jewish ancestry.

  • Reply Ausmerzer August 2, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    Der SS Offizier hat ein DDR Koppelschloss… Experten am Werk

  • Reply Cathy May August 2, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    “gutenberg”
    i’m crying😂😂😂

  • Reply Eric Binney August 2, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    Schnitzelnazi lmfao

  • Reply Vincent Gonard August 2, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    Shitzelnaziii dammn

  • Reply Mairudo Maiku August 3, 2019 at 3:08 am

    His German accent sucks.

  • Reply Oberst Hans Müller von das s.s August 3, 2019 at 3:47 am

    this is where my name comes from

  • Reply die-eggo camaney August 3, 2019 at 3:48 am

    I get it blackface is ok now. Whew…

  • Reply DKZ7 August 3, 2019 at 9:52 am

    4:56 background song please!!!!!

  • Reply Natallie Davis August 3, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    "He left the cat toy man!" I'm dying! 😂

  • Reply Mohammed Shamekh August 3, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    I thought he would make a dick test 😂

  • Reply Sapar Yasharal August 4, 2019 at 2:31 am

    The negroe is the real Jew 🤦🏿‍♂️

  • Reply talentedmangina August 4, 2019 at 3:38 am

    The ending 😂

  • Reply Rex Wrecks August 4, 2019 at 5:46 am

    Phil’s real-estate career didn’t go too well.

  • Reply Urantia Wins August 4, 2019 at 6:42 am

    hahahahahahah!! SO [email protected]!!

  • Reply Juan Meza August 4, 2019 at 8:23 am

    Lmao guttenberg

  • Reply Eoin Mordaunt August 4, 2019 at 12:21 pm

    Oscar nominated for best make up in short movie.

  • Reply Eoin Mordaunt August 4, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    You would be pretty pissed off if you got beans thrown at you by the nazis and they actually exploded

  • Reply CABRERA August 4, 2019 at 8:39 pm

    He is 1/8 black tho

  • Reply uilsoum August 5, 2019 at 12:01 am

    cannot resist a 🅱eet

  • Reply Randy Ray Jr. August 5, 2019 at 1:25 am

    Yea….negroes = eww. That is true. Tell all your cousins to pick up their garbage in their yard and stop dealing drugs. Or maybe stay around if they have kids

  • Reply legoman7041 August 5, 2019 at 4:15 am

    I get the first two, but what's up with cat toys?

  • Reply perez452hy August 5, 2019 at 5:01 am

    Man, i think they could have done way better 🤔

  • Reply Madame Blue August 5, 2019 at 5:37 am

    Where the fuck did he pull the plate of beets from?

  • Reply Epic Rants August 5, 2019 at 6:29 am

    A negro is more tricky than jew?

  • Reply BigDaddy_rey August 5, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    I thought he was gon pull out watermelon😂

  • Reply MrNicoE August 5, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    tHiS iS oFfEnSiVe

  • Reply Randomize August 5, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    Where's the fucking blow?

  • Reply Hans Lafrance August 5, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    He can’t resist cats toys

  • Reply Octavio Bernard August 6, 2019 at 12:19 am

    Whem he pulled out the beats, I thought it was gonna be watermelons or fried chicken

  • Reply Brenyatta August 6, 2019 at 1:05 am

    If it was black people under the floorboards in Inglorious Bastards, the Nazis would be the ones getting shot, from underneath

  • Reply Conrad Phạm August 6, 2019 at 10:42 am

    4:00 Heinrich Leroyheimer just fucking invented High five

  • Reply ryujen shogun August 6, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    can somebody explain the jokes? small head, beets and cat toys i dnt get the reference…… even though i dont get it its still very damn funny

  • Reply Riko Saikawa August 6, 2019 at 3:24 pm

    Schniztlenazi

  • Reply GOD August 6, 2019 at 7:13 pm

    Black people weren’t targeted by the Nazi regime though.

    Still a funny skit

  • Reply Prock ish August 6, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    Is that make up?

  • Reply 澤人志Hitoshi Sawa August 6, 2019 at 10:03 pm

    trump supporters

  • Reply FinBoyXD August 7, 2019 at 12:39 am

    Like how would the nazi dude even suspect those two? They are the whitest men I've ever met.

  • Reply iceburg500 !! August 7, 2019 at 4:30 am

    This by far one the funniest skit's ever (the negros can resist the beats LMAO)

  • Reply Cableguy818 August 7, 2019 at 4:51 am

    Who were those white guys because they were amazing?? I’m so glad there wasn’t any pesky black guys in the acting!!!

  • Reply Ridge Samala August 7, 2019 at 6:05 am

    But blacks only talk different in america

  • Reply rogueagent001 August 7, 2019 at 6:50 am

    I think it's funny how people believe that reverse black face isn't just as racist that aside still funny even if it was actual black face into white guys that's pretty 😂

  • Reply Rasmus Thomsen August 7, 2019 at 7:08 am

    Pretty sure Schnitzelnazi is not a name.. hahahaha!!

  • Reply Jacquelyn C August 7, 2019 at 7:28 am

    I’m ok with this sketch but the fact that it’s so realistic in reality makes me sick to my stomach that guy sounds just like a German nazi and it’s scary

  • Reply Bongo Cat August 7, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    baron

    helmutschnitzelnazi

  • Reply J.D. Matthias August 7, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    Trying to figure out how whiteface is so funny I'd never consider it racist, but blackface isn't….

  • Reply Aaron Navidad August 7, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    Isnt that phil from modern family

  • Reply Eric Anderson August 8, 2019 at 3:22 am

    This would be funnier if blacks had been rounded up by the Nazis, but they were not. Sorry.

  • Reply Alex Lyvan August 8, 2019 at 3:30 am

    Who else heard him say “SAS”

  • Reply Bridget Argentum August 8, 2019 at 4:45 am

    Porque todos sabemos que los alemanes son brutos.

  • Reply Mo Mocha August 8, 2019 at 5:20 am

    I found this to be very offensive. There is nothing funny about the tragedy of the Nazis killing 6 million Jews. This is not funny at all.

  • Reply adam mohammed August 8, 2019 at 9:45 am

    Omw I miss inglorious bustards

  • Reply Katrin S August 8, 2019 at 11:38 am

    His “German” was mediocre… 😕

  • Reply Sebastian Kusiak August 8, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    Not to be racist or anything, BUT…

  • Reply keeping up with state house August 8, 2019 at 3:09 pm

    White people need a recist name also

  • Reply EBHS00 August 8, 2019 at 4:43 pm

    This is white face

  • Reply Savannah Lopez August 8, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    I'm sure if white ppl painted themselves black it would be considered racists

  • Reply Bitcoin Master August 8, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    Only these two can pull this off.

  • Reply Fated Fall August 8, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    Forever one of my favorite skits

  • Reply Vault 781 August 8, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    Inglorious bastards looks great so far

  • Reply Rare Music Hub August 9, 2019 at 2:32 am

    It’s interesting how if a black person puts on white paint and pretends to be white, it’s no big deal; but if a white person puts on black paint and pretends to be black, everyone goes apeshit. Just saying.

  • Reply lord Cancer August 9, 2019 at 5:58 am

    2:44 is that a cold war era east Germany belt buckle i see?

  • Reply Ken & Shan August 9, 2019 at 6:36 am

    My husband's family 🌳 is enough for a comedy central skit. 😂 His gg aunt said nobody was gettin her favorite slave Joe unless they chop off their ears! 😂 next thing ya know, the "R" is removed and blue eyed red haired blacks own 40 acres outside of town. 😂 The wills are hilarious tho!

  • Reply FIREBREATHERCAT August 9, 2019 at 7:01 am

    Phil????!!!!

  • Reply stalin the communist August 9, 2019 at 8:56 am

    Im offended.

  • Reply James Udemezue August 9, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    This is a no negro zone…😂

  • Reply kingOcraft August 9, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    It's that the actor from family guy!!!?

  • Reply KingCookie 30733 August 9, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    2:02 their reactions.

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