Key & Peele – Auction Block
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Key & Peele – Auction Block

August 10, 2019


– ALL RIGHT,
Y’ALL GATHER ROUND.
GATHER ROUND.
WELCOME, GENTLEMEN. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY
FOR AN AUCTION. ALL RIGHT, Y’ALL,
GET ON UP THERE. – PUT THAT WHIP DOWN
AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, THOUGH. – STRAIGHT UP. I DON’T CARE WHAT PLANTATION
I END UP ON. I’M STRAIGHT STAGING A REVOLT
IN THIS MOTHER[bleep]. – HELLS YEAH. – WE HAVE LOT A,
LOT B, AND LOT C. – UH, $3 ON LOT A.
– $4. – 5! – $5 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD. LOT A GOES TO THE MAN
IN THE BLACK HAT. – I MEAN, GOOD.
– YEAH. – [chuckles] I’M GLAD
I DIDN’T GET SOLD, ‘CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE OWNED
BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. – WHOEVER BUYS ME, THEY BETTER
KILL ME THE FIRST DAY, OR I’MA GO BUCK-WILD
ON THE WHOLE OPERATION. – OKAAY? – NEXT ONE,
GET UP ON UP THERE, NOW. – OH, THIS–OKAY. both: [inhale] – $6 ON LOT A. – $7!
– EIGHT. – 9! – $9 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD! both: [exhale] – OKAY, WELL,
YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT DUDE. – IT’S A NO-BRAINER.
– I MEAN, THAT GUY’S HUGE. – A MASSIVE INDIVIDUAL. – THAT’S TWO OF ME.
– ANYBODY WOULD BUY HIM. – I’D BUY THAT DUDE. – MY QUESTION IS
HOW’D THEY CATCH HIM? – NEXT! – OKAY. OH, YEAH.
– YEAH. – $2 ON LOT A. – $2 GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD. – SEE, NOW,
THAT SURPRISES ME. – THAT IS INTERESTING,
TO SAY THE LEAST. – I MEAN, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS
LIKE AT A CERTAIN POINT, IT’S LIKE, DO THEY EVEN KNOW
WHAT THEY’RE LOOKING FOR? – IT’S LIKE
THE WHOLE CRITERIA SEEMS JUST A LITTLE
INCONSISTENT. – I MEAN, AT SOME POINT,
I WANT TO BE ON LOT A. – YEAH, WHICH–
CAN A BROTHA GET ON LOT A? – NEXT. – OH, HERE WE GO.
– HERE WE GO. – BEEN A PLEASURE.
– GIVE ‘EM HELL. – ALL RIGHT.
– OKAY. – $8 ON LOT A. – GOING ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES, SOLD! – HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?
– NOPE, NOT TRUE. – HOW DOES IT HAPPEN? – WHAT YOU JUST SAID–
THAT’S GOBBLEDYGOOK. OKAY? THAT CAN’T BE TRUE.
‘CAUSE WHAT CAN THIS DUDE DO? LOOK AT HIM.
WHAT COULD HE PICK? A COTTON PLANT
IS, LIKE, THIS TALL. – YES.
– I’M SAY– NO OFFENSE, BROTHA,
I’M JUST SAYING. – OFFENSE TAKEN.
– WHA–[gasps] AM I WRONG? IS HE NOT SHORT?
HE’S SHORT. BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SHORT
IN REAL LIFE, IN THE WORLD. – YOU’RE GOOD, MAN.
– ENOUGH. I WILL NOT HAVE
MY REPUTATION TAINTED, SELLIN’ SUPERFICIAL,
BIGOTED SLAVES. – SUPERFICIAL? DID THAT REALLY
JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH? – THAT’S IT!
THIS AUCTION’S OVER! – AUCTION’S OVER?
– WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. NO, IT’S–IT AIN’T OVER.
IT’S NOT OVER! I’M STRONG, Y’ALL! I’M VERY STR–
I CAN SLEEP IN A BUCKET. – I’M FAST, I GOT STAMINA,
AND I KNOW MAGIC. – MY WORST QUALITY
IS THAT I’M A PERFECTIONIST. – LET ME MEN–
HAVE I MENTIONED THIS? DOCILE. I AM AGREEABLE
TO A FAULT. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DUDE
WHO ASKED ME TO GET ON THE BOAT WHEN WE CAME OVER HERE. – NOT A VIOLENT BONE
IN MY BODY. – I JUST WALKED RIGHT ON,
NO BIG DEAL. NEVER SEEN A BOAT
IN MY LIFE.

100 Comments

  • Reply Comedy Central January 11, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  • Reply bot 807 July 29, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    I wanna comment something funny but everything was on lot A, sold!!!

  • Reply Lili Meoko Dixon July 29, 2019 at 4:30 pm

    Wait,wait,,,are they allowed to make a skit like this in this tribal politically correct S T U P I D times ? Oh the humanity . Where's the outRAGE

  • Reply zain tariq July 29, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    My weakness is Im perfectionist lmao

  • Reply • Last MooRoccan Republic • July 29, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    If your reading this, I hope you become riich and successful ♥️💯 ✌🏾

  • Reply Nerulon Skyven July 29, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    aaaand I know magic. 🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply Jack Green July 29, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    "Can a brother get on lot A?" lmao. These guys are legends 😉

  • Reply J Lo July 30, 2019 at 12:32 am

    All the white slaves were picked first.

  • Reply Robert Daniel July 30, 2019 at 2:12 am

    Wow this is just what our country needs. More "comedians" adding to the racist naritive. Give it up. No originality

  • Reply TikTok Copyright Assignment July 30, 2019 at 3:10 am

    Hahaha I edited my comment so you don’t know how I got 0 likes

  • Reply Tay Billionbucks July 30, 2019 at 4:17 am

    Superficial bigoted slaves? What the hell? LMFAO😂💯

  • Reply David Nuh Omar July 30, 2019 at 6:03 am

    Thats interesting to say the least..

  • Reply David Nuh Omar July 30, 2019 at 6:04 am

    See now that surprises me..

  • Reply Jeff Martin July 30, 2019 at 6:17 am

    Next!

  • Reply Sami EUSUFZAI July 30, 2019 at 12:38 pm

    Yall should have let key and peele freestyle this one. As in just wear this to the set and see their reactions.

  • Reply Frederico Fellini July 30, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    so how was this funny hehe or haha distasteful at the least smh

  • Reply Mula Hutagaol July 30, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    What kind of slave auctioner that complain about bigotry??

  • Reply Julien Peterson July 30, 2019 at 2:14 pm

    NOT FUNNY AND VERY DISRESPECTFUL TOWARDS THE ONES WHO WENT THROUGH THIS EVILNESS..

  • Reply Walter J1979 July 30, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    Just walked right on, no big deal never seen a boat in my life ☠️🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • Reply E in Miami July 30, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Beyond disappointed with this skit. I get they tried to be funny but FAIL.

  • Reply Tom Underwood July 30, 2019 at 4:31 pm

    Lmfao 🤣😂🤣😂

  • Reply Geordan Taylor July 30, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    0:54 bruh look at key 🤣😂

  • Reply Lager & Vindaloo July 30, 2019 at 6:03 pm

    Lessons On Islam Owen Benjamin
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiopQjPTR3k

  • Reply Jason Frederick July 30, 2019 at 7:19 pm

    I only dropped by to tell everybody if you wanna change insurance switch to Geico. Trust me you won't regret it.

  • Reply Bart Bolder July 30, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    Is it just me or does the seller look like Auric Goldfinger from James bond ''Goldfinger''?

  • Reply YahNappyKing July 31, 2019 at 12:33 am

    "Nobody want you here go back to your own country"
    Well if you feel that way why the hell did you kidnap me, and force me to come here?

  • Reply Fredj Anis July 31, 2019 at 12:35 am

    the ending reminds me of myself at my first job interview

  • Reply Anj July 31, 2019 at 1:50 am

    Key 1:03 😂😂😂😂

  • Reply Corey's Wild Life July 31, 2019 at 2:40 am

    “that’s gobbledygook”😂😂

  • Reply Sauna Mad Man July 31, 2019 at 2:52 am

    Lol!Freedom is Beautiful! And the past is the past.

  • Reply Cobra5686 July 31, 2019 at 3:20 am

    How how they are flexing 🤣

  • Reply Cinex Annihilation July 31, 2019 at 3:52 am

    The original NFL & NBA Draft

  • Reply Dakendra Waites July 31, 2019 at 4:49 am

    Whyyyy 😂😂

  • Reply Sal Fondlem July 31, 2019 at 6:21 am

    Slavery was never abolished only nationalized. Slaving for things the land used to give you for free. Food, clothes and shelter.

  • Reply Talons X July 31, 2019 at 8:39 am

    I know it's a joke but…yeah…

  • Reply mds s July 31, 2019 at 11:09 am

    The average price of a slave was around 1000 dollars

  • Reply my name is mIkAeL July 31, 2019 at 5:28 pm

    Is that. …Andy from according to Jim😃😃😃😃. Someone call Dana to give him a wedgie 😂😂I understand that no one else will not know what I'm talking about, I shall take my chances

  • Reply coquijean July 31, 2019 at 6:49 pm

    (((GOBBA'GOOCK)))!😨😀😀

  • Reply MMAJU STEPHEN EKENE July 31, 2019 at 8:31 pm

    Ok

  • Reply TheBull916 July 31, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Many blacks still feel victimized. Get over it!

  • Reply S I X E Y E S O N E T R E E August 1, 2019 at 4:52 am

    Does that mean they are free ? 😂

  • Reply John Mack August 1, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Not funny.

  • Reply Tritus Dias August 1, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    Lot A goes to the man in the "black" hat. 😂😂😂 0:35

  • Reply Mad Space Poet August 1, 2019 at 5:09 pm

    You guys are good. You made slavery funny.

  • Reply Ronald Marcano August 1, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    Very historical.

  • Reply Ron Skitzo wilz August 1, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    Nobody wants team lightskin be grateful 😂😂😂😂😂

  • Reply JT LEGENDARY August 2, 2019 at 12:12 am

    Que mierda 😲

  • Reply TheFreshTrumpet August 2, 2019 at 1:35 am

    This shit’s SEVEN YEARS OLD bury me asap

  • Reply Kendrick Hall August 2, 2019 at 2:01 am

    No sale lol your too smart.

  • Reply August Perkins August 2, 2019 at 2:35 am

    "put that whip down and see what happens tho" should be the modern black man's motto 😂

  • Reply Adrian Frenchi August 2, 2019 at 2:48 am

    Was that Corey booker

  • Reply Luke Griffith August 2, 2019 at 6:21 am

    This is what inspired the auction scene in Get Out. Peele just switch it from conservative racists to liberal racists.

  • Reply Rishabh Tiwari August 2, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    Superficial? 😂

  • Reply Moises Can Sing August 2, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    This became creepier after watching Get Out.

  • Reply Kay August 2, 2019 at 11:17 pm

    “can a brotha get on lot A?”

  • Reply Slanus Greenstreet August 3, 2019 at 3:41 am

    Ok, I'm calling a whitey in the wood pile!!
    Even a black person would call them crackers!
    😁

  • Reply Future Cryo August 3, 2019 at 5:10 am

    We laugh 100 plus years later but in those times noone was laughing.

  • Reply Zed Zedd And Zeddy August 3, 2019 at 6:50 am

    "im very strong"

    how strong are you?

    "i can sleep in a bucket"

  • Reply Mark Dabiedeen 6 August 3, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    Still here

  • Reply Urantia Wins August 4, 2019 at 6:41 am

    damned funny even if SLAVERY SUCKS OUT LOUD AND WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED AGAIN IN AMERICA!! but gotta give it to you…this was hilarious! would NEVER be allowed to air today

  • Reply DemonOfTheWest88 August 5, 2019 at 1:51 am

    wtf ! 1848 ??? lame

  • Reply Mega Hunter August 5, 2019 at 1:59 am

    Those damn superficial bigoted slaves

  • Reply Jorxdan August 5, 2019 at 3:19 am

    Yoo that’s Andy from according to jim

  • Reply Stephanie Nicole August 5, 2019 at 3:20 am

    1:09 mark, Keegan is doing the "picture pose" with his hands crossed on one thigh…lol lol

  • Reply Diego McCartney August 5, 2019 at 3:54 am

    I know magic 😂😂😂😂

  • Reply WHY NOT JUST STOP THIS GAY SHIT ? August 5, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    BLACK PEOPLE HAVE THE HIGHEST SELF PRESEVATION
    PSYCHOPATH MECHANICS WHICH ENABLED WILL BE SLAVES FOR EVER. AND WHERE

  • Reply Chou Moua August 5, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    9 big 8 small make me feel good

  • Reply Val Garrow August 6, 2019 at 1:00 am

    Im so addicted to those guys.

  • Reply Oscar Clarke August 6, 2019 at 4:00 pm

    It's hilarious how they speak proper english 😂

  • Reply Leonardo lopes August 6, 2019 at 6:10 pm

    I don't get the "boat" part. What's up with boats in america?

  • Reply Perry Ellis August 6, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    Just like a job interview…you gotta sell yourself…
    Ahhhhhhh 😄

  • Reply DeepHauz13 August 6, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    offense taken lol

  • Reply Samia Jama August 6, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    Am agreeable 😂

  • Reply Murkish August 6, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    "i am agreeable to a fault"

    IM DEAD

  • Reply Molatto Star August 6, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    Full Blacks were more in demand than Mulattoes.

  • Reply listenratata August 7, 2019 at 12:54 am

    This is such a reach. They must be out of material.

  • Reply How Do August 7, 2019 at 8:10 am

    Hard to believe this happened only over 100yr ago. Disturbing

  • Reply Tom Frein August 7, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    All jokes aside though, it’s sad to think that there was a time where you could buy a person for 5 dollars. Yes, I know that the dollar went way further back in the day, but a human life is always too valuable to be sold. Such a shame

  • Reply Greensabr200 | HCF & MineZ 2 August 7, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    pretty american sounding slaves

  • Reply RealEyesRecogniseRealLies August 7, 2019 at 7:17 pm

    I bet this sket was jordan's idea i mean look at the movie get out

  • Reply Shooter Sanoff August 7, 2019 at 8:58 pm

    A massive individual hahaha

  • Reply Pool Guy August 7, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    Big booty white girls walking into the club and having her pick of the litter is the modern day equivalent.

  • Reply Matt Alibozek August 7, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    “Put that whip down and see what happens though” 😂

  • Reply Aaron August 7, 2019 at 11:39 pm

    i hate you

  • Reply Wittypert August 8, 2019 at 5:05 am

    2020 who here

  • Reply Sairam Sriram August 8, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    I didn't realise how light these two are. Compared to me, they look like Matthew Perry.

  • Reply Soablau Lobluae August 8, 2019 at 5:14 pm

    How much longer is Hollywood going to push this shit I didt own any slaves or my family own slaves ! Tired of hearing the Same old crock of fucking lies and bull shit! fuck Hollywood and there racist acting! people will never get along if you don't start tuning a new page I had nothing to do with its shit !and the US government has Brain washed everyone that slavery was the reason for a war between the Confederates and the United states .bull shit ! Its because people in the south would not pay the government taxes same as today if you pay attention to what's going on now the government just wants the blacks and the whites the start a race war to thin out the population so they can brain wash us the United states people on TV ever day In order to cause friction between whites and blacks . That's fucked up but it's TRUE….

  • Reply TypetwoAbsolute August 8, 2019 at 5:53 pm

    Why they surprised? they admitted in front of them that they'd go crazy and revolt

  • Reply Joe Duke August 8, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    This must be the year MOST modern black people still live in? I mean blacks walk around moaning and groaning as if yesterday THEY were on the auction block, so it must be the metaphysical space their collective minds, have become lodged into? BLACKS! Go tell Lincoln NOT to go to the theater!!

  • Reply Joe Duke August 8, 2019 at 11:51 pm

    So I ask blacks all the time, what horrendous terrible crime did their ancestors pull in Africa,
    to be tossed the hell out like they were? Yup, makes me wonder. Oh boy, yes indeed.

  • Reply Oleksandr M August 9, 2019 at 10:59 am

    Guess what fucktards? We all have seen the same video, no need to quote every single line.

  • Reply Michael Corleone August 9, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    A Massive Individual.

  • Reply Ernest crowder August 9, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    I tried my best not to laugh, but this shit is funny as hell. Slave: I'm fast, I got stamina and I know magic!

  • Reply the review master 678 August 9, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    History class never taught you about the two dudes who wanted to be sold

  • Reply Martin Balgavui August 9, 2019 at 9:06 pm

    Oops!!

  • Reply Soma-Amnesia Haze August 9, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • Reply David Edos August 9, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    How did hell did the slave in the middle get so fat?😂

  • Reply Flow Adapt Execute August 10, 2019 at 2:14 am

    Did you read the comments😂 I don’t know what was 🤣. So not racist!

  • Reply James Martin August 10, 2019 at 4:08 am

    I can SLEEP in a BUCKET

  • Reply ReDoX ReDoX August 10, 2019 at 5:36 am

    It's funny people bitch about slavery and race when they are the ones wont get off the damn shit. So the ones still harboring over the past should be the racist cause they wont let the shit go damn. The racists are the ones who see skin color aka the ones who dont let go of shit.

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