[Apaches] Danny: The entire Apache
nation gather in the hills above the headquarters
of the US Army in New Mexico, tired of the broken promises
of the Great White Father, ready to face the Long Knives
in the fort below. Kim, eight. Eight years and three quarters, she says. That means she’s eight. Sharon, nine. Apache women weren’t just squaws,
they often fought, too. Michael, wearing a red band. He’s daft. The Apaches never wore red. Me, Geronimo, Chief of the Apaches, great warrior of the plains. Tom. Robert. –Danny: Are we ready?
–Ready. –Ready, Chief.
–Ready, Danny. Geronimo! I’m Geronimo! I’m cold. [All ululating] Danny: Mum and Dad
are getting ready for the party. Veal and ham pie, my favourite. (All yelling) (Tractor approaching) Quickly! Sharon and Kim, on the other side. Down! Klutz. Well, how should we take the fort of the Long Knives? Haven’t you got any ideas? We can’t hear. What was that, Danny? –Who’s Danny?
–Sorry, Chief. Well, what did you say? I said, “Who’s Danny?” Before that. Oh, Michael, go and tell them. –Me talk to squaws?
–Tom, you go. –Down!
–Oh! Some Indians. We storm the fort. We what? What’s that? She means charge it. Right! Danny: Look out!
The wagon train’s coming. Attack it as it enters the fort. Okay? All: Okay. (Ululating) (Simulating shooting) (All cheering) (Screams) (Indistinct chatter) (Kim, N.) Danny: Dad likes to see
his face in his shoes. He says he could shave
in the reflection from them. This is Mum’s favourite blouse.
Her best one. After all, when you’re having a party,
you want to look your best, don’t you? Sharon: Someone on ‘Swap Shop’ had feathers. Danny: What, Indian feathers? Sharon: I don’t know. Just feathers. Robert: Some girl was swapping elephants.
She brought them along. Elephants? Real elephants? Michael: No, I saw that. They were rubber
elephants. She was swapping them. Tom: What for? Course she was swapping.
She was on ‘Swap Shop’, wasn’t she? For animals. Elephants are animals. Yeah, but she wanted to swap for
glass animals ’cause she had too many elephants
and wanted to get rid of them ’cause her mother said so. If I was her,
I’d swap something totally different. –What?
–I don’t know. –Stamps.
–No. Action men.
–Yeah, I’ve got loads of them. –They’re sissy’s things.
–They’re not. –Yes, they are.
–They’re not. You girls go all soppy on dolls. –Ha! No.
–Prams. Oh, come on, I’m not lying around here
all day. Let’s go outside. Hey, not so fast. Whoo! –Well?
–Well what? What are we going to do? –How am I supposed to know?
–Well, you brought us out here. I’m supposed to know everything, am I? Without me, you’d be lost. (Indistinct chattering) Come on! Come on to me! I’ll decide what we’re going to do and we’re definitely
not going to play football. Coming, ready or not! Danny: Sharon! Got you! Come on, you’ve got to come
stand in the den. Why? Because that’s the rules of the game. This is near enough. Unless you get released,
it won’t count. –Come on!
–All right, then. Help, everyone! I’m a prisoner. You mustn’t shout. It’s not allowed. Why not? If I don’t shout “help”,
how do they know I’m a prisoner? You mustn’t shout “help”. Robert, Michael! I’m a prisoner. Help is coming! No shouting, I said! I’m not shouting for help. No shouting names. It’s not allowed. No shouting at all. (Softly) Tom! Tom! Robert! I’ll race you. Come on, Tom! Come on! Kick the can! Hey! Hey! (Laughs) Sucker! Come on. How’d you know where I was? –You’re thick.
–You’re picking on me. Ah, come on. Not fair.
That’s the second time you’ve caught me. Should be able to hide better, then,
shouldn’t you? Robert, Michael, come on!
I’m a prisoner. Where are you? I’m coming, I’m coming! I’m coming, I’m coming! –Come on, quick!
–Kick the can! (Screams) Danny! Danny! (Tom Newton) Danny: The trouble with grownup parties,
adults parties, is that they don’t seem
to enjoy themselves. No one ever brings presents and no one gets a present
to take home with them. That’s not what I call a party. They just eat and stand around drinking. No one plays games. Isn’t that funny? I sure hope those railroad men
get through the pass, Sergeant. Those goddamn Apaches
would never take the train, sir. I guess you’re right.
Let’s get back to the fort. Okay, sir. Come on, boy. –Come on!
–Come on! (Simulating shooting) (Ululating) Welcome back, Chief! –Sergeant, note this.
–Yes, sir. At Fort Sumner,
scouts are allowed to man the gate. You what? Open the gates, we’re coming in. Enter, good Chief. I’m General Cook, 9th Cavalry. But I thought we were playing Indians. That is because you are thick. You’re bonkers. Danny: All right, men? –Yes, sir.
–Yes. How is it, Sergeant? It’s all quiet, sir. Yeah. Too quiet. I don’t like it. I want to know when we changed
from being Apaches. Look, if there were 10 of us,
we could be the Apaches all the time and the rest could be the cavalry
all the time. But there’s only five of us,
so we have to be both. But there’s only four of us. Yeah, four. –Are we ready, men?
–Ready, Captain? Look, what about Michael and me? We’re still dressed as Indians. We didn’t know we was gonna change, did we? Nobody told us. You can be Indian scouts
for the cavalry. Every fort has them. I know. I’ll be in disguise. A soldier in disguise
to fool the Indians. Yeah, me too! Oh, all right. Captain, here they come! (Simulating shooting) Red savages! You yellow-bellied skunks! Gotcha, coyote! You’re all thick! Ah! They got me! Ahh! (Groans) Aah! And me, too! Ah! They’re missing me. (Simulating shooting) I’m going, Sergeant. I’m going fast. I’m gone. (Groans) (All screaming) Hey, Sharon, that was great. Oh, it was nothing. Apaches have taken Fort Sumner! Palefaces are massacred! (All shouting) (All ululating) (Indistinct chattering) This would be a great place
for a den, this. –Oh, don’t try to change the subject.
–What are these? They’re my grandad’s. He collects them. Well, what are they for? I don’t know.
They used to be used on farms. –It’s his hobby.
–Oh! Hey, what are you doing? In celebration of our victories, we will drink
the white man’s firewater. Ha! Some hopes. Hey, this would make a great gang hut. Don’t think my grandad would let us. But you could use my Wendy house. Wendy house? I don’t fancy that. Come on, let’s have a drink. Hey, I’m not drinking that.
We don’t know what it is. Well, just mime it.
Like we did in the school play. –It might be poison.
–Yeah, to kill the rats. No, it isn’t poison.
It would look like it. Smells okay. Here, give me that. Me Geronimo! Chief of tribe. Me have many stallions! Me have many scalps! Me kill many warriors! Ew, it’s horrible! Watch it, Sharon!
It’s gone all over my jacket. –Mime, you said.
–I forgot. You all right, Sharon? Yeah, I think so. (Indistinct chattering) Bye! All right, see you, Sharon! See ya. (Coughs) That stuff made a right mess
on my clothes. My mum’s gonna kill me! –Let’s have a look.
–Crikey! (Sharon screaming) Mummy! Mummy, help! Mummy! (Screams) Mummy! Danny: I don’t see what grownups get
out of it, except a lot of drink. And they can get that in the pub. They don’t need to come to the house
to get it. Mind you, sometimes I like it when they all get drunk
and dance around with you and give you money. I like that. That’s fun. You go that way, Starsk. Hutch, that way! –You see him, Hutch?
–No, but he’s sure packing a gun. I ain’t deaf. (Cap gun firing) He’s in there, Starsk. You know something, Hutch? –What’s that?
–I’m getting too old for these capers. Yeah. –Come on, Hutch, cover me.
–Gotcha! Run! I’ll bet you guys think you got me, huh? Come out with your hands up, dummy! Ah, don’t make me laugh, Hutchinson. This is Starsky talking. You, too! –Right, Hutch, you rush in.
–No, you rush in. –I’ll cover you.
–I’ll cover you. I’ll tell you what. We’ll both go in. –And we’ll both cover each other.
–Great idea. Hey, you guys yapping or shooting?
Make up your minds! Don’t you worry about us, dumb-dumb. You just watch your ass. Ah, you guys are all talk. Shut up, sop-head. –Ready?
–Ready. –One, two…
–Three. Freeze! Robert, look out! (Screams) Danny: I think they’ve nearly
all arrived now. Mind you, there’s always someone late,
though, isn’t there? Just like school. I’m going to scout the land. Yes, Chief. No, you stay here and guard
the lodge of our fathers. I’ll be gone many moons. Danny: The Apaches have fought well,
against great odds. Our braves are few
and the white man is many. We have no food. Winter is coming. Our people will starve. (Screams) We have been robbed of our homeland. But we shall return. We shall survive. I, Geronimo, must gather together
our scattered people. And we shall survive. Our greatest need is food and shelter. We must have food. We must learn the ways
of the white eyes. Feed our people his way. That much the white eyes can teach us. We shall cast aside the weapons of war. –Be careful.
–Oh, great. Danny: This is our land. Our homeland. As long as one Apache remains,
it shall be ours. I, Geronimo, give my word. Help! Help, I’m moving! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! (Screaming) They’re ready now. Yes. They’re ready. (Reading Psalm 103) “He remembereth that we are but dust. “The days of man are but as grass. “For he flourisheth
as a flower of the field. “For as soon as the wind goeth over it,
it is gone. “And the place thereof
shall know it no more.” We therefore commit Danny’s body
to the ground. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. In sure and certain hope of
the resurrection to eternal life. Through our Lord, Jesus Christ. Danny: My mum and dad.
It’s a nice party. Quiet, but nice. My cousin Michael. My granny and grandad. All the family are there for the party. I wish I was. I wish I was there. Honest. What time do you think
you’ll get home tonight?